Aš pati ne kartą save esu pagavusi situacijoje, kai vengdama pradėti kažkokį darbą kelis kartus nueinu iki šaldytuvo ar spintelės. Arba imuosi kitų neva paruošiamųjų darbų, reikalingų tam darbui atlikti. Atidėliojimas yra dažna priežastis, kodėl užstringame tame pačiame neveikimo – žemos savivertės – neveikimo rate.
Spąstai, į kuriuos buvau pakliuvusi ilgus metus – tai realaus veiksmo nesiėmimas prisidengiant planavimu ar naujų žinių rinkimu. Ilgai gyvenau iliuzijoje, kad planavimas ar mokymasis ir yra veiksmas. Jei ir jūs taip galvojate, noriu jus pažadinti, tikrai ne.
Planai ir naujos žinios reikalingi, bet jei tai viskas, ką darote, rizikuojate praleisti produktyviausius savo gyvenimo metus.
Ar jums pažįstama situacija, kai apima entuziazmas planuose statant debesų pilis, bet atėjus laikui veikti galvoje ima viena per kitą verstis mintys, kad dar reikia kelis straipsnius perskaityti, kad reikia kažkokius failus susitvarkyti, o gal dar paplanuoti, dar truputį užkąsti. Aš taip save apgaudinėjau ilgus metus.
Galiausiai, kai įsibėgėjus motinystės „atostogoms“ tokia užduotis, kaip paskambinti elektrikui tapo iššūkiu, supratau, kad užsisėdėjau. Ir net valgymas ar darbo efektyvumas šitoje vietoje svarbiausia. Daug svarbiau yra tai, kaip save vertinu ir kaip galų gale kontroliuoju savo gyvenimą.
Pradėjau gilintis į atidėliojimo esmę ir mane nustebino tai, kad už jo stovi baimė. Dažniausiai tai baimė, kad nepasiseks, kad dar nepakankamai žinau ar kad nežinau visko, kas manęs laukia.
Kaip tai įveikti?
Jei pagrindinė atidėliojimo priežastis yra stingdanti baimė, tuomet efektyviausia yra spręsti priežastis, aiškintis, koks vidinis įsitikinimas sukelia tokią baimę. Patikrinti jo pagrįstumą ir imtis veiksmų pakeisti tą įsitikinimą nauju. Bet čia jau ilgasis kelias. Dažniausiai taip tenka spręsti perfekcionizmą. Tam aš naudoju kognityvinės elgesio terapijos technikas.
Bet mano įsitikinimu daugumai žmonių atidėliojimas yra ne kas kita, kaip įprotis. Prieš imantis naujo veiksmo, jaučiamės nesaugūs, todėl imam ieškoti pasiteisinimų kad galėtumėm likti ten, kur ramu.
Todėl efektyviausias sprendimas – tiesiog VEIKTI.
Turite parašyti nemalonų ilgą laišką? Atidarykite jį ir pradėkite rašyti. Bet ką, kad ir padrikas raides. Taip protas įsijungs į rašymo procesą ir nukreips mintis į patį rašymą, o ne į baimę. Norite prieiti ir kažką užkalbinti ar kažkam paskambinti? Suskaičiuokite iki 3 ir ženkite pirmus žingsnius to žmogaus link ar paspauskite skambinimo mygtuką. Kelio atgal greičiausiai nebebus, o ir pamatysite, kad toli gražu ne taip baisu.
Laukia sudėtinga užduotis? Nepulkite jos planuoti mažais žingsneliais, kaip dauguma pataria, o nuspręskite skirti jai 5 min. Darykite bet ką, kas susiję su ta užduotimi. O pradėjus veikti galėsite pereiti prie užduoties skaidymo. Nes antraip gali tekti ilgai planuoti, kaip čia pradėjus planuoti.
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Tikiuosi, kad šis paprastas (nors ne visada lengvai įgyvendinamas) patarimas jums bus naudingas, nes man jis padėjo keisti gyvenimą. Kiekvienas žengtas žingsnis tiesiogiai veikia savivertę, atgaunu savo gyvenimo kontrolę ir pradedu suprasti, kad galiu gerokai daugiau, nei man iki tol atrodė.
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