Kaip mes suprantame, kad esami stori ar ploni, aukšti ar žemi, kreivi ar tiesūs?
Lygindami save su kitais.
Ir viskas čia normalu, mes visi skirtingi. Tačiau bėda prasideda tada, kai lygindami pradedame jaustis blogai. Tada galvojam, kad reikia „numesti“ kilogramus, „atsikratyti“ pilvo ar stovint „pataisyti“ kreivas kojas. Kitaip tariant imam nemėgti savęs ir save taisyti.
Tačiau tiesa ta, kad tai, kam priešinamės niekada nedings. Maža to, tai į ką kreipiam savo dėmesį tik dar labiau didėja.
Todėl norint kažką pakeisti, pirmas žingsnis – išmokti priimti.
Kaip tai priimti? Pasiduoti? Subliūkšti ant sofos, nes man ir taip gerai?
Priimti tai visų pirma pasakyti sau, kad yra taip, kaip yra. Tokia realybė. Greičiausiai tai, ką dabar matau sukūriau savo įpročiais ir veiksmais. Ir aš galiu rinktis, pradėki kažką keisti, arba kaip tik liautis nuolat su tuo kovoti. Paleidus tą įtampą viskas savaime ima tvarkytis. Patikrinkit patys.
Paimkim pavyzdį. Milda nusifotografavusi kelių moterų kompanijoje pažiūrėjo į save nuotraukoje ir pagalvojo: „Kokia aš stora! Koks mano pilvas! O rankos?”. Supykusi ant savęs ji griebiasi dietos, kuri vadinasi „Man-to-negalima-ano-negalima-Kad-jau-pradėjau-tai-pabaigsiu“. Ir tokios dietos bėda net ne fiziologinė, ne kalorijų sumažinimas. O vidinė nuostata, kad aš turiu nukauti savo kilogramus, man negalima valgyti, bet jei suvalgiau, aš niekam tikusi.
Kitas pavyzdys – Miglė. Beje, ji irgi buvo toje nuotraukoje. Net pagalvojo beveik tą patį ir dar kartą prisiminė, kokia kreiva jos nosis. Tačiau Miglė supranta, kad realybė yra tokia, kokia yra. Ji taip pat supranta, kad tie kilogramai yra jos pačios elgesio pasekmė ir atėjo pats metas kažką keisti. Miglė laikosi dietos „Man-to-negalima-ano-negalima“, bet net kartais ir suvalgius nekyla noras save už tai smerkti. Ji gerbia savo kūną, net jei kažkas ir nevisai patinka. Todėl Miglė renkasi, ką į jį dėti (mano kūnas – ne šiukšlių dėžė). Ir svoris tikrai mažėja. Ramiai ir užtikrintai.
Dar liūdniau, kai nemėgstam savęs dėl dalykų, kurių dažniausiai pakeisti negalim. Kreiva nosis ar kojos, platūs klubai ar ploni plaukai. Bet įsivaizduokit, jei gyventumėm pasaulyje, kur visi žmonės turi tas pačias charakteristikas. Nebūtų su kuo savęs lyginti ir nereiktų savęs kankinti, kad esu kitoks.
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